Mary Christmas
By: lostandwhatever
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
not a creature was stirring, not even a… a… Uh, crap…
What’s something nasty that rhymes with “house?” “Louse?” That could work.
Let’s try this:
Twas the night before Christmas, when through each city
a strange creature was stirring, to make life shitty.
Better?
Well, at least it’s true. There is a strange creature stirring: me. I’m an Elf. I’ve been fired… on Christmas Eve no less! And, I plan on fucking up Christmas royally.
Why?
Well, besides being fired, Christmas just pisses me off. Let me explain. (Settle in. My villainous backstory is going to take a minute, but hang around. It’s a good one.)
My name is Mary.
That’s right.
By: bela04